Shit Lower East Siders Say

Posted on: January 20th, 2012 at 6:44 am by

Yup, we went there.  Being glued to media outlets as we are, it’s nearly impossible to avoid the “Shit people say” meme.  And even though it’s already jumped the proverbial shark, the New York version of same was nevertheless worth a gander.  So, in the spirit of this tired concept, we polled our Facebook friends for a followup of sorts.  It morphed into quite a list.

Herewith, the best of our crowdsourced “Shit Lower East Siders Say” (in no particular order):

  • “Is the F train not running again? F#%*ing MTA.”
  • “I never go above 14th Street.”
  • “Whats that fucking stench? Oh yeah, it’s Chinatown on a 90 degree day.”
  • “Theres a LINE?!!”
  • “Ugh, it’s raining”/”ugh, it’s snowing.”
  • “Oh hey sorry i’m late i was at yoga with Lady Gaga.”
  • “Doughnut Plant is out of creme brulee donuts already?! But it’s only 9am!”
  • ‎”Wanna go occupy after Pianos?”
  • “Gee, I’m so excited to have to wait in line for 3 hours tomorrow just to eat brunch.”
  • “Katz’s is SO overrated.”
  • “This neighborhood is totally safe. Those gunshots were like two blocks that way.”
  • “What’s with all the horse shit?”
  • “I can’t believe [this old place] is closing!!!”
  • “I can only go out around here during the week.”
  • “This is where I used to score.”

Be sure to add your own variations in the comments!

Recent Stories

Screenshot via CJ Koegel YouTube
Two Dudes Bring the MTA’s ‘Courtesy Counts’ Etiquette Campaign to Life [VIDEO]

The unwritten rules of subway etiquette seem fairly obvious; let off before you get on, relinquish your seat for someone who needs it, save nail clippers for the privacy of your own bathroom. Yet the “Courtesy Counts” campaign recently unleashed by the MTA suggests otherwise on these assumed understandings. New Yorkers Christian “CJ” Koegel and his partner […]

snow-east-broadway-2006
Check Out this Time Lapse Footage of the LES During the Epic 2006 Snowstorm [VIDEO]

The Tuesday morning quarterbacks gave Mayor de Blasio and Governor Cuomo a raft of shit for shutting the city in response to the epic blizzard the wasn’t. It was supposed to have been the most catastrophic snow accumulation the city has seen in recent recorded history. In the end, we got up to seven inches, […]

yonah shimel performance
Report: Yonah Schimmel’s Says It’s Staying on East Houston

Months of rumors to the contrary, Yonah Schimmel Knish Bakery is reportedly to remain at 137 East Houston. We have been hearing persistent chatter from locals about a possible closure and/or move since last November. Our latest intel had it that their landlord intended to boot the century-old lunch counter. “We’ve been here for over 100 […]

Jones Diner in 1977, Photo: Art Flux
Former Jones Diner Site on Lafayette Could Fetch $35M

May the Jones Diner rest in peace. Known for its intrusive advertecture in recent years, the vacant lot is now on the open market. The 5,500 square-foot sliver of land at the corner of Lafayette and Great Jones Street (aka 363 Lafayette) is the latest “development site” in an area too rich for its britches. […]

marly-hardware-closed
New Hot Pot Joint Angling for the Marly Building Supply Spot on Delancey

Damn, that was quick. A month after Marly Building Supply dismantled its Delancey facility and vacated the Lower East Side, a noob is ready to take the torch. It should come as no surprise that it’s an eatery seeking a full liquor license. According to application materials submitted to Community Board 3, an establishment called […]

  • Private

    “Katz’s is SO overrated” Only a midwesterner would say this. Katz’s is the temple of the G-ds.

  • http://esquared.tumblr.com/ esquared

    Those are what Shit [the new] Lower East
    Siders Say
    , at least 99% of what’s on that list, but then
    again, probably 99% of LESiders nowadays are “new” LESiders

    as for the 1%, an old school LESider would say are:

    “F*ckin’ B&T’s…hipsters…Jersey Shorers…”

    “Hijo de la gran puta!”

    “Stay to your right.”

    “Coño”

    “Rent is too damn high.”

    “I’m walkin’ here.”

    “Pendejo!”

    “$10 for a meatball sandwich!” (and variations “$5 for coffee!”….”$20 for a
    cocktail!”, (but then again a LESider old-timer wouldn’t be caught dead
    in these joints)

  • Guest

    tenement tenement tenement

  • Kira

    “Who hangs out above Delancey???”

  • Azra

    “Shit transplants say.”

  • Carol Ann Rutz

    “Fucking Bridge and Tunnel crowd…”
    “Ummmm, Veselka…”
    “You know… when Jean Caffiene worked there.”
    “Let’s go to Robots, Carol Black is on the door.”
    “Where’s my balsa?”
    “He’s got a blade, run…run…”

  • Alex Simon

    The native Lower East Sider would probably say or at least use to say the following:

    “It’s pronounced ‘how-stin’, not ‘Hew-stin’ like the city!!!”
    “I want that toy at luckys! buy it for me now or i’m throwing a tantrum” (not literally but you get me)
    “Lets play manhunt! 8 block radius only!”
    “I’m hungry, lets go to clinton. I want an alcapurria”
    “I’m gettin a fade at the cubano” (allen st)
    “Me da uno tamarindo y otro de limon”
    “Coco, cherry, rainbow!!! Una peseta!”

    “I’m going to 56, and you?
    “I got into 25″ “Screw seward park”

    “Yo lets go to Forsyth, I’ll play you in ball.”
    “Hi Mr purple!”
    “Those allen boys are at it again”
    “Im gonna get me a slice at Rosario’s”
    “I got christmas gifts at Ryan Nena, yay!”
    “I got my kicks at Nort” (Eldridge)
    “I don’t wanna go to university settlement anymore, I’m grown!”
    “What color is your jawbreaker? Mine’s green!” (Bought from Economy Candy of course)

    I miss the old lower east side, when it felt like an actual neighborhood without the generic chains and wealthy snobs. Of course that doesn’t only apply to LES but to NYC in general.