Shit Lower East Siders Say

Posted on: January 20th, 2012 at 6:44 am by

Yup, we went there.  Being glued to media outlets as we are, it’s nearly impossible to avoid the “Shit people say” meme.  And even though it’s already jumped the proverbial shark, the New York version of same was nevertheless worth a gander.  So, in the spirit of this tired concept, we polled our Facebook friends for a followup of sorts.  It morphed into quite a list.

Herewith, the best of our crowdsourced “Shit Lower East Siders Say” (in no particular order):

  • “Is the F train not running again? F#%*ing MTA.”
  • “I never go above 14th Street.”
  • “Whats that fucking stench? Oh yeah, it’s Chinatown on a 90 degree day.”
  • “Theres a LINE?!!”
  • “Ugh, it’s raining”/”ugh, it’s snowing.”
  • “Oh hey sorry i’m late i was at yoga with Lady Gaga.”
  • “Doughnut Plant is out of creme brulee donuts already?! But it’s only 9am!”
  • ‎”Wanna go occupy after Pianos?”
  • “Gee, I’m so excited to have to wait in line for 3 hours tomorrow just to eat brunch.”
  • “Katz’s is SO overrated.”
  • “This neighborhood is totally safe. Those gunshots were like two blocks that way.”
  • “What’s with all the horse shit?”
  • “I can’t believe [this old place] is closing!!!”
  • “I can only go out around here during the week.”
  • “This is where I used to score.”

Be sure to add your own variations in the comments!

Recent Stories

Photo: ABC News
26-Year-Old Jogger Raped in East River Park Last Night, Police Searching for Suspect

  Police are currently scouring the neighborhood for the man responsible for a rape in East River Park last night. On the eve of Thanksgiving. According to ABC News, a 26-year-old was jogging the foot-bridge to the park by Jackson Street at around 7:30 when the perp approached and attacked. The victim tried to run […]

When Love is Found in the Halls of Community Board 3

​They found love in a hopeless place. Community Board 3, that is. The Villager reports this week that former member Carlina Rivera, Legislative Director for Rosie Mendez and sitting member James Rogers, owner of LES vet Pushcart Coffee, just got hitched. Apparently the couple honeymooned in Turks and Caicos. In the weekly roundup, Scoopy also […]

LES Holiday Pop-Up Shop on Grand Street will Feature Local Artists and Designers

The holidays are here! Yes, already. Anyway, to kick off the season of festivities, LES Pop-Up is bringing an “LES Holiday Pop-Up Shop” to the neighborhood. Its niche lies in products created and designed by local artists and designers; the intention is to serve and support the community while sustaining artists and creative folk in the immediate area. Additionally, said […]

Under Fire, Gerber Group Responds to Criticism over ‘Mr. Purple’ in the Hotel Indigo [UPDATED]

​Under fire for naming its trendy rooftop hang after the late Adam Purple (aka David Wilkie), Gerber Group is certainly on a defensive footing at the Hotel Indigo. And it only just opened. Pretty much everyone in the community is calling them out on Mr. Purple. So much so, that it requires an official response […]

Aborted Comeback: Subway Franchise Officially Closes on Essex Street

​So much for a comeback. Barely three months after Subway returned from a debilitating flood, its Essex Street sandwich shop is donezo. A short-lived recovery, to say the least. Marquee signage was pried from the facade last week and leasing info propped in the windows. It’s not entirely surprising that the second coming of Subway […]

  • Private

    “Katz’s is SO overrated” Only a midwesterner would say this. Katz’s is the temple of the G-ds.

  • esquared

    Those are what Shit [the new] Lower East
    Siders Say
    , at least 99% of what’s on that list, but then
    again, probably 99% of LESiders nowadays are “new” LESiders

    as for the 1%, an old school LESider would say are:

    “F*ckin’ B&T’s…hipsters…Jersey Shorers…”

    “Hijo de la gran puta!”

    “Stay to your right.”


    “Rent is too damn high.”

    “I’m walkin’ here.”


    “$10 for a meatball sandwich!” (and variations “$5 for coffee!”….”$20 for a
    cocktail!”, (but then again a LESider old-timer wouldn’t be caught dead
    in these joints)

  • Guest

    tenement tenement tenement

  • Kira

    “Who hangs out above Delancey???”

  • Azra

    “Shit transplants say.”

  • Carol Ann Rutz

    “Fucking Bridge and Tunnel crowd…”
    “Ummmm, Veselka…”
    “You know… when Jean Caffiene worked there.”
    “Let’s go to Robots, Carol Black is on the door.”
    “Where’s my balsa?”
    “He’s got a blade, run…run…”

  • Alex Simon

    The native Lower East Sider would probably say or at least use to say the following:

    “It’s pronounced ‘how-stin’, not ‘Hew-stin’ like the city!!!”
    “I want that toy at luckys! buy it for me now or i’m throwing a tantrum” (not literally but you get me)
    “Lets play manhunt! 8 block radius only!”
    “I’m hungry, lets go to clinton. I want an alcapurria”
    “I’m gettin a fade at the cubano” (allen st)
    “Me da uno tamarindo y otro de limon”
    “Coco, cherry, rainbow!!! Una peseta!”

    “I’m going to 56, and you?
    “I got into 25” “Screw seward park”

    “Yo lets go to Forsyth, I’ll play you in ball.”
    “Hi Mr purple!”
    “Those allen boys are at it again”
    “Im gonna get me a slice at Rosario’s”
    “I got christmas gifts at Ryan Nena, yay!”
    “I got my kicks at Nort” (Eldridge)
    “I don’t wanna go to university settlement anymore, I’m grown!”
    “What color is your jawbreaker? Mine’s green!” (Bought from Economy Candy of course)

    I miss the old lower east side, when it felt like an actual neighborhood without the generic chains and wealthy snobs. Of course that doesn’t only apply to LES but to NYC in general.