Only Tough Guys Wanted for Room Share
The following roommate-wanted Craigslist posting is quite entertaining. It stars a female resident seeking a tough guy type to grab the vacant bedroom. Crying will get you nowhere here!
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Enough talk, let’s dive right in:
female looking to share a two bedroom apartment in a great ‘hood. i’m looking for a tough guy as my last room mate had a real problem with uncontrolled weeping and depression. seriously, he cried all the time.
i’m pretty easy going, have a steady income, hate pets and whiny bitches, enjoy the odd party night or two but generally like things quiet. i don’t mind if you bring someone home once in a while but i don’t want to walk into the living room every day to find you giving each other the gears. hipsters are alright but i will definitely make fun of your beard and ass-saggy skinny jeans until it forces you to either shave or move out.
and it’s cool if you’re female, but please don’t be a baby about everything. i don’t really give a shit if your last boyfriend dumped you. it’s probably because you got fat. life’s tough, buy a fuckin’ helmet and move on.
if this sounds like a good place for you to live then email me a few things about yourself and we’ll set up a viewing of the apartment.