Only Tough Guys Wanted for Room Share
The following roommate-wanted Craigslist posting is quite entertaining. It stars a female resident seeking a tough guy type to grab the vacant bedroom. Crying will get you nowhere here!
This image has been archived or removed.
Enough talk, let’s dive right in:
female looking to share a two bedroom apartment in a great ‘hood. i’m looking for a tough guy as my last room mate had a real problem with uncontrolled weeping and depression. seriously, he cried all the time.
i’m pretty easy going, have a steady income, hate pets and whiny bitches, enjoy the odd party night or two but generally like things quiet. i don’t mind if you bring someone home once in a while but i don’t want to walk into the living room every day to find you giving each other the gears. hipsters are alright but i will definitely make fun of your beard and ass-saggy skinny jeans until it forces you to either shave or move out.
and it’s cool if you’re female, but please don’t be a baby about everything. i don’t really give a shit if your last boyfriend dumped you. it’s probably because you got fat. life’s tough, buy a fuckin’ helmet and move on.
if this sounds like a good place for you to live then email me a few things about yourself and we’ll set up a viewing of the apartment.
Recent Stories
Game Over for ‘Water World Amusements’ Arcade on Essex Street
Much like the movie of same, Water World Amusements unceremoniously sunk. The arcade, which opened just over a year ago at 35 Essex Street, is no more. Gaming cabinets remain locked in the dark retail space, while leasing signage dominates the store marquee. That this game room failed to hit is not a shock. Water […]
‘Greens and Grains’ Shutters, While Famous Hakki Readies Essex Chicken Spot
Greens and Grains is no more after a year in business, as Hell Square eats another of its own. Instead, the so-called Pizza Champion is opening a chicken-focused eatery. Hakki Akdeniz, who owns a plethora of pizzerias around the neighborhood, is planning to open Essex Chicken at 115 Essex Street. Just a few doors down […]
La Pecora Bianca to Open Another Outpost at Former Delicatessen Space on Prince Street
Delicatessen shuttered suddenly last month after eleven years in Little Italy. However, its demise is actually months in the making, and with a big-name takeover on the way, to boot. The 2,000 square-foot corner space at 265 Lafayette (aka 54 Prince) is to become the third Manhattan outpost of La Pecora Bianca. And renovations are […]
Zara Looks to Legalize its Oversized SoHo Flagship Store
The flagship Zara store on Broadway is hoping to legalize its SoHo footprint by altering the current zoning. Zara, which purchased the commercial condo at 503 Broadway in 2015 for $284 million, occupies a much larger footprint than what is permitted under the current zoning. (Former location of Old Navy from 1998 to 2015.) Once […]
Does this East Broadway Traffic Pattern Change Alleviate Bridge Congestion?
As part of the effort to address the logjam to the Williamsburg Bridge, there was a previous update to the traffic pattern near the Lower East Side on-ramp. Motorists can no longer turn onto Clinton Street from East Broadway during nighttime hours. New signs have been in place beside the signals. But has this simple […]
