His Name is Sean Patton and You Will Listen to Him [INTERVIEW]

Posted on: November 11th, 2015 at 10:38 am by

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Photo: Serial Optimist

​If there’s one comedian out there you really need to know about, it’s Sean Patton. He hails from New Orleans, but splits his residence between New York City and Los Angeles. The bits are hysterical, oftentimes skewing anti-hipster, and usually delivered with hyperbole and an irate intensity. In fact, it’s not uncommon to hear the F-bomb dropped every few words. Basically, you wanna see him.

We’ve caught several Patton performances over the years, never with disappointment. He is that rare breed of comedian who can make the smallest stage feel enormous and vice-versa, and doesn’t allow a stiff crowd to shit on his parade. For instance, at a recent gig, an impromptu riff about laughs and their bird sound-alikes totally reinvigorated an anemic audience.

Patton’s screen credits also include Esquire’s Best Bars, a Comedy Central half-hour, and appearances in Inside Amy Schumer.

Bowery Boogie: Sweet is a Lower East Side treasure and how we were first introduced to your comedy. You say that the weekly show is one of the tougher rooms to play in the city. Can you explain?

Sean Patton: Sweet has such a history of performers that’ve graced the stage. I’ve seen everyone from Sarah SIlverman to John Mayer. Yep, John Mayer tried stand up for a while. Seriously. And he was fucking terrible. Aside from him though, Seth [Herzog] books the best comedians, so the audience is so used to see greatness that as a performer, you have to rise above whomever just rose above the already ridiculously high expectations of that show’s loyal audience.

BB: What’s your technique for shutting down an annoying heckler?

SP: Be louder than them. I don’t like to acknowledge hecklers at all, because it’s too easy. Hecklers are never very smart or witty or sober, so shutting them down is easy. There’s a whole culture of putting clips of hecklers being shut down online and none of those clips are very interesting. Except for Bill Burr vs. the city of Philadelphia. That is a classic.

I don’t like sharing the spotlight with those fucks. I overpower the heckler with volume and eventually let their fellow audience members shut them down.

BB: Lower East Side or Brooklyn? Why?

SP: Brooklyn. Because I can still afford it. Somebody’s gotta do something about rent prices right? When I first moved here in 2007, rent prices were mind blowing. “$2100 for a two bedroom? Wow I didn’t even know that was possible!’

Then around 2010, rent prices became so unbelievable they were hilarious”

“You pay how much? $1800 for a one bedroom! Hahahahaha! Really? HA! Stop you’re killing me hahahahahahaha!”

Nowadays, rent prices are straight up insulting. People take it personally.

“Wait, what do you pay for your studio apartment? $2700?! Fuck you man you don’t know me don’t say that shit to my face unless you wanna get hurt!”

BB: What bothers you most about city living?

SP: People who clearly hate living in a city but still do for some reason. Yes, it’s loud and has a certain smell and crowded and everyone’s dressed a certain way and if you can’t stop complaining about it, You. Should. Fucking. Move.

BB: Nickleback or Creed?

SP: I feel that this is a trick question and the answer is “neither.” However, I also feel that you’ve asked this question before, and most people respond by pointing out that they think it’s a trick question. So, for the sake of originality, I will switch into douche bag mode and make a choice…

… Fuckin’ Creed bro! ‘Cause they’re all about God and that shit’s cool! Also they ain’t no pussy ass Canadians!

BB: Speaking of which, we could easily picture you fronting a band. Who’s in your dream band and what do you call it?

SP: I would have a 21-piece orchestra, complete with horns, strings, reeds, and drums. We would perform transcendent ballads that make each listener cry tears of hope and express true human compassion with the people in their day to day lives. Our music would make everyone who heard it strive to become a better person. Our name would be Cunty & the Dick Boogers.

BB: What’s the last thing you saw/heard to make you crack up hysterical?

SP: Anytime I see someone who is not paying attention to where they are walking and they smack into a door or streetlight or tree or parked car or a family of 6 or another person who also isn’t paying attention to where they are walking, I know I did good in a past life.

BB: Any advice to a comedian coming up now?

SP: Be funny.

BB: What city do you think is at the forefront of comedy now? Do you think NY and LA are really the only contenders?

SP: NY and LA are the two top cities to be in, but I don’t think it’ll be that way for much longer. Denver, Atlanta, and Chicago are the cities to be in for comedy if you don’t want to be in NYC or LA. Then there’s Austin, Portland, Minneapolis, and New Orleans all nipping at the heels of the major scenes.

Not good enough? Do yourself a favor and check out “Sean Patton: American Bedwetter” as part of the New York Comedy Festival on Friday November 13th at UCB Chelsea (307 W.26th St.), 10:30 pm (sharp).

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